|
original URL (may be deactivated)
February 28, 2000
Upgrade Me, Baby, Code Me All Night LongA new contest searching for the Sexiest Geek Alive is reinventing the concept of sex appeal.By Julene Snyder It's a dot-com world, baby. Bill Gates has spawned a generation of geeks who wear their lack of exposure to sun like a badge of honor, wielding stock options, acronym-heavy jargon, and Palm Pilots with ease. The most surprising thing about the "Sexiest Geek Alive 2000" contest – which will culminate at the South by Southwest Interactive Conference on March 14 in Austin, Texas – isn't that it exists, it's that this is the first one. The nerds have long since gotten their revenge, but now there's a lovely prize package and TV cameras involved. More than 16,000 entries have been submitted to the sponsoring Geek & Guru site since the contest was announced in early February by Internet entrepreneur Steve Phenix as a spoof of People magazine's annual "Sexiest Man Alive" feature. There was a flurry of light-hearted controversy early on, when female geeks demanded entry to the contest, which originally sought only males. But after a woman applied, the doors were thrown open to both sexes; the entries ended up split roughly 60-40 between male and female applicants. Given the numbers, making it to the finals is an accomplishment. That feat will not go unrewarded: The 12 finalists will be flown to New York to be interviewed Tuesday on Good Morning America. After the winner is announced in Austin, there will be yet another GMA appearance for the sole standing sexy geek (who must be present at SXSW to win) before being whisked off again to the Big Apple, this time for an appearance on the Montel Williams Show. Fame surely will follow. (One assumes that fortune is already in the bag for the winner – if they've had the foresight to gather stock-options rather than defunct hardware along the way.) The contest application has fields that seem designed to weed out the true geeks from wannabes. Potential winners are plied not only with questions about "computer experience," "favorite OS" and "what kind of computer set-up do you have at home," they also are asked to name their favorite Star Trek captain, tell what PCMCIA stands for, give the definition of an Osborne, know which state Compaq (CPQ) is located in, describe a META tag, explain the meaning of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and more. In one sampling of applications, the number of people who knew Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle was a bit startling, but these people are, after all, self-described geeks. Applicant Dana Boyd applied at husband's suggestion, and there's no denying her geekiness, which is abundantly evidenced on her Web site. Not only does she keep a Web cam trained on her while at work, she apparently scans in every decent photo she develops, and plays around with Flash and Java just because. On the sexy side, visitors can check out va-va-va-voom belly-dancing pics, along with a lovely image of her dressed as a "car-crash bride" for Halloween. When asked about the geekiest thing she's ever done, Boyd fesses up to sharing an elevator with James Doohan (Scotty on Star Trek) at Gencon: "I was reduced to a giggling, stammering mess of a grrl who could only manage to say, "I really like your stuff." Now, I ask you, what stuff was I talking about?!" Like many other applicants, Boyd's lengthiest application comments were in the section asking about "computer experience" and wondering "what kind of computer set up do you have at home." Yup, these are geeks all right. Like many geeks, Scott McCollum has a tendency to get carried away with his own wit. His answer on the geekiest thing he's ever done reads in part: "In a horror movie, I'm the guy yelling, 'That's so fake! Even taking into account an engine that could somehow warp the immediate space around the ship into a hyperspace dimension, any moron knows that the standard Einsteinian principles of relativity are going to kick in and have serious time-dilation effects for everyone on that ship! What fourth-grader wrote this piece of fantasy trash?' at the screen." McCollum's description of his home computer set-up isn't as long as some, but it's certainly chock full of information: "P3-550, 128MB RAM, Matrox G400 MAX, Sound Blaster Live Platinum with surround speakers, MAG 19-inch monitor, 20GB IBM (IBM) hard drive, broadband cable modem access, Logitech Mouseman Wheel USB and Microsoft (MSFT) Elite keyboard. I sold the second computer and my U2W SCSI rig to some technologically challenged friends for Christmas." Geek alert! But what about the sexy part of the equation, hm? Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire notwithstanding, bulging billfolds only go so far, and it doesn't seem like the majority of the applicants are waving their checkbooks to get a little action. Some have attached pointers to Web sites chock full of photos, but contest organizers rush to assure applicants that conventional beauty is not required. "Hey, we're not about looks, we're about BRAINS!" gushes the FAQ. "This isn't physical sexiness we are celebrating, it's the mental. Although if you make it to the second round, a picture IS required." Cyan Callihan of San Francisco wants to be declared "Sexiest Geek Alive" not just for herself, but for all female geeks. "It is time to bring to light that there are plenty of women in the technology field that are smart and downright cute," she states on her application. "In this day and age, being a woman in the field can be tough. People often question your ability and geekiness by virtue of being female ... mostly, women are not involved with technology because of social conditioning rather than ability. Most women are more than capable of doing exactly what I do. We just need to move past the 'men are doctors and women are nurses' ethic." Less noble in his quest for the crown is one applicant who states, "I deserve to win this contest because my wife dumped me and ran off with her cyber-lover, and this would make her regret her decision for at least five minutes before she finally sheds that last ounce of respect for me. I think you'll agree it's a win-win situation."
|